Tuesday, May 24, 2011

How To Lose a Girl After 2 Dates

1. Begin initial communication via text messaging.

2. Tell her all about your ex-girlfriend - including how you bought her a ring, talked to her parents, and took her on a weekend trip to propose, only to change your mind because it didn't feel right, then find out after you get home that she has been cheating on you - on your first phone conversation (before you have even met her).

3. Ask personal questions about her previous relationships and why they ended, on your first phone conversation (before you have even met her).

4. Don't offer to pick her up to go on your first date.

5. After initial phone conversation, text her 10-15 times a day. Every day.

6. Talk about your ex-girlfriend. A lot.

7. After she tells you on a Sunday afternoon that she has a really busy week, with plans every night, text her later that night to invite her to your friend's birthday celebration on Thursday night.

8. Text her the next morning (before work) to invite her to go walking with you and your dog that afternoon.

9. Text her at least 5 times to continue to ask about said birthday celebration on Thursday night, even though she tells you "no" every time.

10. Begin text messaging at 7:30 am.

11. Send her a text that says she has to go out with you, "no excuses!"

12. After she loses her patience and tells you that she CANNOT GO OUT ON THURSDAY, text her the next morning, just to be sure. Three times.

13. Ask her if she's mad at you.

14. Tell all of your friends she is coming out with you when she has clearly said she was not.

15. Ask her to call you repeatedly.

16. Don't take no for an answer.

17. Ask her out after she has ignored your texts for 3 days.

18. When she says she is not interested, ask if she believes in second chances.

19. When she bluntly says she is not interested in you, text her first thing the next morning to invite her to to out later that week.

20. Repeat #'s 1-19.


  1. Paul and I laughed sooo hard after reading this!!! Wow, some guys are just clueless!!!

  2. HAHA...aaahhh....(doesn't it quickly translate into that?) Oh, the pains of people who don't listen!